The Rules of Being Friends With Your Co-workers - The Muse

The Rules of Being Friends With Your Co-workers - The MuseThe Rules of Being Friends With Your Co-workers If youre lucky, you dont hate your co-workers. In fact, if youre really lucky, you probably like them a lot, and maybe you even want to turn the relationships into full-on friendships (ah, scandalous). After all, you landsee these people all day, every day, so it only makes sense you want to take it to the next level.Its normal to want friends at work- and its actually crucial to your career success. Because as I said, you spend fruchtwein of your time on the job, so when you dont like the people you work with, it makes getting through the day a lot harder. When you enjoy each others company, youre bound to have a lot more happy (and productive) days.But before you start making friendship bracelets, there are a few rules to getting buddy-buddy with your colleagues.1. Dont Push the Boss-Employee RelationshipGIF courtesy of GIPHYIm going to get real for a second No matter how much you and your manager have in common, and how much fun you have together, he or she is still your boss. This doesnt mean you cant talk about non-work stuff or spend time together outside of the office- it just means you have to be a bit more cognizant of what you choose to discuss. The same goes for being friendly with your direct reports. Regardless of your company culture, you 100% need to remember that you want this person to respect you- and that a few, small choice comments can erode respect all too quickly.2. Do Be ConsiderateGIF courtesy of GIPHYYour work buddy may live in the same neighborhood as you, or they may live in a town youve never heard of. They may be married with kids, or they may cringe at the thought of a family.Friendship doesnt discriminate, but how you choose to hang out can. If, for example, your co-worker cant do happy hour with the rest of the kollektiv because they have to pick up their children, be open to suggesting ideas that happen during the workday- say, substituting happy hour for lunch at your favorite restaurant. Or, if you know they dont drink, plan to grab coffee rather than drinks. Acknowledge the fact that while everyone may want to hang out, theyre all coming from different places, with different priorities and different backgrounds. So rather than writing people off because they dont want to do exactly what you want to do, be flexible. Youll make way more valuable connections that way.3. Dont Be Clique-yGIF courtesy of GIPHYHaving a group of friends in the workplace is great But you know whats not so great? Being the adult who started a middle school clique in a grown-up office. By only hanging out with a few people and not making the effort to get to know others, youre likely alienating your other colleagues- and honestly, probably making your job harder in the process. (Josies far less likely to do that favor for you if she discovers that you invited everyone but her to grab coffee.) So, every once in a while, break the routine of only hanging out with your favorites and get to know the rest of your team. 4. Do Be YourselfGIF courtesy of GIPHYYou may feel inclined to act a certain way in order to fit into the company culture and make friends. But real, honest friendships form when youre yourself, not pretending to be someone else (I know, am I a Hallmark card or what?). Plus, if you want to bring the relationship to a second location- a.k.a., leave the office- you dont want people to be confused by the way you act when youre not sitting at a desk. Finally, putting up a face is just plain exhausting- and on top of everything else you have to do, a waste of energy.As a result of being yourself, you may not click with everyone you work with, and thats OK. As long as you find yourself in the company of people who like you for you.5. Dont Rush ItGIF courtesy of GIPHYLike any friendship, the ones you make at work take time. You may be only a few months into your new role and wondering why you dont ha ve a work wife yet. Or, you may be desperate to invite everyone you work with to your birthday party- before youve established your reputation as a hard worker first (what Im saying is that you want everyone to know that youre great at your job before you let them see you three beers deep). If youre feeling a little lonely, cut yourself some slack, give it time, and read this article on four ways to make friends. If youre more than a few months in and still struggling, you should ask yourself some questions, such as Are you attending optional social events? Have you asked anyone to grab coffee? Are you sitting at your desk all day with your headphones on? It could be that you work in an unfriendly office (and if so, Im sorry), or it could be that youre unintentionally sending the message that youre not there to make friends. As long as you follow these (highly recommended) guidelines, youre on the right track for forming meaningful connections with your colleagues- connections that wont just make even the worst job bearable, but your life outside work better, too.